Who we are - 2015.

OMG, we've made it 3 years now.   Blogging has kind of taken a back burner, but I am working on getting things back to a level playing field.  

New things that AREN'T on the ORIGINAL "Who we are" blog

Kids have got older & changed:

• The Oldest is now 19, and is back home.  He went back to Oklahoma for a while, made another stab at building a relationship with my brother - his bio dad, he never did finish school, and got into some legal trouble (but he didn't call home to get bailed out!), but now he's back home, and I'm glad, I really need him - and I'm getting him on the path of "growing" He is a super help with the younger kids, helping around the house, getting things built around here since Babe is working so much!

• Drama Rama is now 17, she has only been gone since June - and she's back.  She's made a stab at staying with all kinds of random people and her father, and bio mother - none which worked out.  She got very sick last week - she had cellulitis (bacterial skin infection) there is a link below.  She has psoriasis - there are 7 different major types, and she now has all 7.  You can google that on your own!  So she is back home recovering after being in the hospital on heavy steroids and antibiotics for 4 days. She didn't finish school either, so as soon as she is capable of moving around freely, I will get her started on a forward direction of education! http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001858/#adam_000855.disease.cause

• PeaceKeeper is now 11, turning 12 in March, in the 6th grade and started middle school this year, he is taking band, and got 1st chair, his first year, we are all pretty proud.  His grandmother played brass in school and so she has been able to teach him quite well, and done an amazing job, and he loves it!  He is almost as tall as I am, and is such a fun kid.  He's a comedian at heart and I love it!  School is more of a challenge for him this year - 1st year in Jr High, 1st full year at this new school district and its more advanced than their old school, I had no idea 2 schools 12 miles apart would be so different!!! He got a cellphone this year, he has started going to friends houses and doing independent things, and so my Mom decided since she never uses her cellphone and we are paying for it - might as well give it to the kid for doing so well in school and making 1st chair.  He was super stoked.  Its not a smartphone - its a blackberry q10, its touch screen, BUT it doesn't have all the access to the crazy apps, most of blackberry apps cost money and it has parental controls on it so he can't buy anything - and he wouldn't anyway cus thats not currently his nature!
  

• Wild Thing is now 10!  He is doing so much better in school, has claimed down soooooooo very much!  I would believe its the same kid!  He's sweet, loving,  and full of cuddles whenever you want them - he is always running around moving - but stops by everyone for a hug and a kiss at least twice a day, and thats a school day.  He's very tender hearted!  School isn't such a battle for him anymore because he's calmed down so much and learned to pay attention.  I can't reiterate just how sweet he is!  Now give him a chance, and he will get fired up and my house can look like a tornado went blowing through.  He is playing basketball this year, he is doing great.  His team has only lost 1 game so far.   He is loving that we moved to closer schools because he gets to do more activities than before.

• Darling Diva will be 9 in April.  She has a very strong connection with God and church.  Example, I've been sick and thank God we live where we do, and she went next door Sunday morning and told them we were all sick, could she ride to church with the neighbors, and they gladly took her - they text me and said that she was the first to voice up when ask if there was anyone who needed prayer requests.  She's now the reason that I try to on a nightly basis working a bible study - its a bible study/mix of us getting to know about each others day.  Its cut down some since basketball season started.   She's playing basketball also, she's doing great.  She loves it and is very athletic - her and Wild Thing will at least be the 2 that keep me on my toes learning about all the sports I never cared to play!  School is a breeze for her, but she's having to learn to study, because again, school here is harder than where they were!
  

• Leggs just turned SEVEN - 7, yes my baby is SEVEN.  His birthday is in December so this year he was in 1st grade.  We had some major issues with his teacher so we pulled him out of school, he started Kinder at this new school end of the year last year, and he was already struggling and behind, because of his surgeries, and then had another one this year and it just seems like a never ending cycle for him sometimes - get caught up. . . fall behind.  So we pulled him out and are homeschooling him.  .  . . we are on week 3 and so far its going great, I am getting way more accomplished than I thought, even with me being sick and not getting to work with him as many hours as I had planned.  He knows its going to be a fight to get to 2nd grade next year, so we are probably going to end up working though end of June, but I am in hopes that it wont have to be that way for him.  He wanted to play basketball BUT because he had to have surgery, he missed sign ups :( 
  

In other news:

            My parents are living with us, my Mom has dementia, and needs assistance/isn't comfortable living alone.  We got screwed by a contractor on turning Babe's man save into a bedroom and laundry room and finishing the downstairs bathroom. . . The Oldest has been working on it but its a slow process because we are out so much money.  It sucked...BAD!  So we are kinda packed in like sardines.  Mom and Dad have a room, our live in has the tiny room, The Oldest is on the hide a bed couch, Drama Rama is sharing  room with Mom and Dad, Babe and I have a room - and the 4 littles are sharing a room stacked on bunkbeds with multiple TVs in one room so they can multi-task.  They are all being really awesome about it and know its not forever, but know that we have no end date in mind.

Babe is working a full time job, a part time night job, and even a Saturday job when they need him.  he's trying to cover all basis.  God love him, and I pray that he doesn't fall out, I worry about him A LOT!

Hello 2015!

     There are so many things that have come and gone since the last time I blogged.  I seriously had forgot all about this place.  I get so tied up with day to day things, ME - well the things that bring me joy sometimes get thrown out the window, run over by a semi and then get sent back to ME.

     So I am saying good bye to previous years, and hello the 2015 and going to hold on tight to it and hang on for the ride, cus if you follow my Facebook page, you know even that gets left behind sometimes and that my life is one hell of a roller coaster ride, depending on the day!

     I've worked, and stopped working out side the home - I've had 2 children move out, and 1 move back in.  My brother and I are on civil ground, we still have hell when it comes to dealing with the children though.  My amazing husband is now working 3 jobs, my parents are living with us.  My Mom had some major illnesses strike her and caused her to have a stroke and she now has vascular dementia and can't be left at home alone.  She came to live with us and then shortly after - so did my Dad.  My house is full - and I never thought Id say that considering how large it is, and we are even adding on another room and laundry room - and it seems the laundry room will now host as another bedroom as well!  Fun times right?  Right!

     I am going to just see where it all goes and live it all up in 2015.

 I am in sync with the fact that my life will always be hectic and that my family strives on random drama's that come into play.  So here we are.  There are currently 10 of us living in a 4 bedroom - soon (prayers!) 5.5 bedroom house.  Yes I am serious about putting "The Oldest" in the laundry room so that he isn't sleeping on the couch! - I hate having people sleep on the couch!  My brother was staying here for a while, but that didn't work out - so he went back to Dallas to live this girlfriend and I hope that works out for him this time - they seem to have some crazy connection - I hope they keep it!  

     Drama Rama dropped out of school and is living with some boyfriend about 30 miles from here - she ran away in 2014 and went to live with MULTIPLE people but ended up back with my brother who kicked her out - and now she's working on getting her camper live-in-able - she will be 18 in May and there is nothing I can do because when she ran away she took all legal documents out of the safe so I have no proof that I ever had any custody of her what so ever, because I never thought it would be necessary to file them with the county clerks office.  

     Peacekeeper is playing the trumpet in the 6th grade middle school band, and is AMAZING at it.  Darling Diva and Wild Thing start playing basketball this month.  We bought them a basketball goal for Christmas and they have been practicing everyday that the weather would allow - which up until a few days ago was possible - not sending my kids out when the windchill is in the negative numbers and we live in Texas, home of the notorious bi-polar Mother Nature.


2015 for me is going to be wrapped with more time!  

We are going to figure out a way to make all this work - I thought we'd have it down by  now - hell maybe it wont ever happen, and this will be a yearly thing of me trying to figure it out.  But we've made a pretty good start on it so far - basketball goal, pingpong table, fire pit in the back yard, the kids and I even started going to church on Sunday and Mom and I are going on a Walk to Emmaus next week!!  I am super stoked!

The one that has no name

     Sometimes I wonder, where did I go?  What happened to me?  I use to be so incontrol of everything, felt like I always had my shit together.  I was confident, secure, safe, stable, reliable, reasonable, manageable, intelligent, and so many more things!!  I feel like I have lost them all.

Confidence - ha, thats a joke - I'm a Mom.  I 2nd guess everything I do, say, how I act, what I think - because I worry about how it will affect my kids now -- and later.  People judge and say things and so again, the 2nd guessing starts and I wonder what I'm doing and if I'm even doing it right.

In-control - of my bladder (most of the time that is!) thats about freakin it!  My house is a wild play ground that I feel is falling down around me.  I'm not even in control of WHEN I can use the bathroom, when I can do household chores - it's all on someone else's watch.

secure/stable - I didn't worry about the petty crap - it wasnt important.  So what if I totally drained the bank account?  There would be more money on payday right?  Not anymore.  6 kids - bank is usually empty and when that happens a crisis usually hits and I freak out!

reasonable - I'm way past reasonable.  I hate having to listen to other people and making my kids and me avaliable for whatever whenever because thats what "good moms do" - I get tired of hearing that statement!!  Who the hell dictated you "master of the moms"?

manageable - manage what?  This place is a zoo!  about the time I think I have shit under control something happens and all hell breaks lose!  I'm left standing there scratching my head trying to catch on to what latest and craziest thing has kicked off in my living room.

Proud to be a Freak!

So, I am - so what? I'm proud of who I am!  I've been called a freak most of my life, for one reason or another.  I have psoriasis and that's usually the first thing people notice about me ,the next thing they notice is the shit ton of tattoo's that I have, and then they notice my children :)

So sometimes my psoriasis covers 80% of my body and there isn't really a damn thing I can do about it.  I won't "flake" on you - it's not going to jump off me and consume your precious baby, I'm a stressful anxious person - mine just shows on my skin while you hide you shit stuffed down deep inside - good for you, I don't have that option!

Yes, I decorated my body with pretty designs, colors, and random things.  Yes, at one time they all meant something, and most of them still do.  Some are matching friend tattoo's, my kids names, yes I have my ex husbands name on my chest, yes I've been remarried for quite a few years, and no I'm probably not going to cover it up because he is still the father to 2 of  my children and it would upset them if I covered it, and yes "Babe's" name is tattooed on me twice - no I don't care if you think that is odd and his couldn't be covered up if I wanted.  Sorry I can't always remember what Kanji means what - I didn't get them yesterday - matter of fact it was many years ago - I know what they mean, just not always in what order.  Yes they hurt, yes I am proud of them and NO, I wont hide them - not even for your wedding or funeral.  Could I cover them all - sure, if I wore long sleeves, pants and left my hair down - will I, no!

Yes, these kids are mine - wait no, I stole them from the "children's section" in Wal-mart - they are having a buy one get one free sale on isle 213!  Where the hell else do you think I got them?  - I hate that damn question - "Wow, you have this many kids"  "Oh my, are all these kids yours?"   - The looks my kids give people who ask this are priceless - no bitch I stole 'em - want them?  I'll sale them to you cheap, but you have to bring 'em back tomorrow, okay?  You think you could handle 6 better than I can? Awesome - start popping them out!  Lemme know how that works out for you okay?  Yes, I had them young! Yes, I know what causes "that" - "that" is my child and if you refer to him/her as "that" again - I'm liable to eat your face off!  You also know what that means - that means I like sex, and am apparently good at it - so BITE ME!


So maybe in a perfect world I wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb, but until then, I'll keep my freak show and make it look as classy - or sassy - as I want it to be.  This is MY freak show - and if you don't want to be a part of it - well - go away :) It's not that hard!

Whoooo Arrrrrrrre Yoooouuuu?

Every time I hear the question (or even read it) "Who are you?" the the song "Who Are You" by The Who pops into my head and then the cat in Alice and Wonderland asking Alice "Whhhoooo Aaaaarrrrreeee yooooou?

After reading the blog Who The Hell Are You by Lorelle, I got to thinking - "Who the hell are we?"

If you don't follow me on facebook, you're coming into this totally empty!  What if you don't like me?  Or think my sense of humor is totally inappropriate, that I have no idea what I am doing or "what gives me the right to talk about this"?  I'd be lost too!

So, who are we? (I'm not going to get all this right in 1 sitting, its 4am, cut me some slack here people :)  but I'll do my best!)

ME - I'm the writer that's who I am :)  I'm the SAHM of 6 kids that range from 16 to 4 and have shown me that life/situations/actions/reactions are always, ALWAYS, different and that each child/human being is different and has to be handled different both physically and emotionally.

 I started getting my masters in Psychology, but dropped out because I couldn't handle kids/work/school/life all at one time!  Will I go back? Who knows, but the honest answer is probably not!  I'll use my kids as an excuse now, my husbands job later, and my grandchildren after that!  So don't hold your breath waiting on that blog!  

I didn't want a large family, don't come from a large family, hell I actually I didn't think I wanted a family at all!! Boy was I WRONG!

 I have psoriasis, social anxiety, and bits and bouts of depression that sometimes I think are never going to pass! 

I got married shortly after I turned 18, that didn't work - 'cus most young marriages don't - YAY STATISTICS (bastards) then remarried a few months after my divorce was final. 

(I know, I know, I'm quick at this stuff, huh?)

But I have an amazing husband (most of the time!)

My Husband - aka "Babe" - he's my right hand, my rock, my asshole, my friend, sometimes my enemy, but most of all he's my partner - in everything I do!  WE make this "HOUSE OF CHAOS" work.  WE, not he, not I, WE.  He works his ass off - 1 full time - M-F job - and 1 part time job - he builds airplanes - crop dusters and those emergency fire water dumping planes (I can't ever remember what the hell they are called!) He comes from a large family, was raised with heavy religion, and his family is very distant and doesn't come around/interact much.

*now the fun part -- KIDS*

"The Oldest" - is my brothers 16 year old son who just came into our life 1/2012 and moved in with "Babe" and I in July,2012.  We are still getting to know him, but he loves athletics, basketball is his favorite.  His past life has been crazy, broken and unstable and we are working on showing him what life is SUPPOSE to be like.  He has amazing street smarts (which scares the shit out of me!) but has had to be a survivor his whole life and so he's tough and strong and going to go places in life!!
"Drama Rama" - is my brothers 15 year old daughter who has lived with me off and on her entire life - mostly as a baby then again as a teenager (her step Mom got the easy years, damn it!) and moved in this time (permanently) July, 2012.  She is the main drama factor around this house.  Everything has to be about her or about nothing at all.  She is always getting into sticky situations and never knows how to get out or rise above them.  She is def. her own worst enemy.  She's learning - she hasn't had a simple life either - but we are trying our best to help her be the best she can be, at whatever she wants to be!
"Peace Keeper" - my 9 year old son from my 1st marriage.  He is calm, cool and collective.  Might have a slight touch of OCD, loves school, academics, and will do just about anything to keep the chaos to a minimum. And its scary how independent he is! And how flexible he is!
"Wild Thing" - my 7 year old from my 1st marriage.  He is wild and crazy.  Off the walls, has amazingly crazy ideas and can't keep focused for more than a few minutes.  He loves school, but just enough to get by and because his friends are there.  He is mothers child.  Solid boy through and through.  Always in trouble always starting fights - but is the first to cry, apologize and need to be held, loved and cuddle with you! He is one of the most caring, sweet children I have ever seen.  Loves animals, the outdoors, and a true spirited child. And he TOTALLY HATES CHANGE!
"Darling Diva" - my 6 years old princess - She is - WOW, I'm not even sure how to describe her.  She is so independent but so needy at the same time.  She is always up my butt, wants to do everything I do.  Likes to clean, and showers sometimes multiple times a day for no reason, loves to help me in anyway that she can but in the flick of a switch she is an evil spawn.  She screams, yells and throws fits like I've never seen in my life.
"Leggs" - my 4 year old bilateral clubbed foot baby boy.  He is SOLID BOY and an exact mixture of his 2 half brothers.  He can be as calm or as wild as the situation needs him to be!  He has the most amazing loving personality I have ever seen in a child.  He is a sponge and loves to absorb every bit of knowledge he can, anyway that he can.  He might be the youngest and the smallest, but he can stand his own with the other kids.  He's for sure the toughest of all 6.

*Ok, I'm done for now - I'll write more later! I'm fixing to face plant the keyboard* 9/05/2012 4:35am

Welcome :)

    

     I'm jumping into all this pretty blind.  I write well, I'm good at it - at least I was in school and college.  Back when "myspace" was cool I blogged all the time, and everyone always ranted and raved about them - I wrote about what life had thrown at me, how the kids were doing, how I wanted everyone to think life was going.        
     Myspace fell apart and turned to TRASH, and Facebook became a hit - I hate it, now I love it.  I live away have out grown most  from of my "friends" and have a really close family that is always around getting into twisting and turning in each others business - and everyone else's in town too.  (That happens a lot when you live in a town of less than 500!! A LOT LESS)  So I felt like I had no out - I wrote a lot - well people find diaries and journals and then do what? Get mad!  So I opened up a Facebook page last month that has virtually NO ONE I am related to have even ever laid REAL eyes on, and decided - damn it - I need to blog...to write...so here I am!

     I have followed/liked a ton (and I mean a TON) of "MOM" places on Facebook - and have started feeling whole again - not so damn alone.  It is freeing.  I can be me - JUST ME - and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks or says or does - cus I can block you, delete your comments or just blow you off!
     I recently bought a plaque at a local pharmacy that says "www.MommyNeedsHerSpaceBeforeSheTotallyLosesIt.com"  NOW I HAVE IT!!  I have my place!  To talk about life, love, kids, home, work, school, other parents, opinions, facts, jokes, husband, dogs, food, crafts, WTF ever I want :) And I like it!
     I hope you enjoy all these Crazy Ramblings Of A Not So Ordinary Mom.  I'll work on doing an "about me" page at some point - a real personal type one - but for now -- this is what you get :)

                                      ----Rambling Mom