I want to start off with giving you the knowledge that I HATE children's "play places" (example - Chuck E. Cheese and all those places like them!)
We out grew the creepy mouse and his creepy robot friends this year and moved up to "The Plex" (has less games, bigger kid toys, activities - go carts, battle boats, batting cages etc). This is our first experience with having a party at "The Plex" and it's NOT much better than C.E.C - cost a little less - and you get more shit to do (but costs extra), but that's about it. $69.00+ tax gets you into the "party area" a "party coordinator", 2 medium pizzas - 2 pitchers of soda, 20 tokens per kid *up to 8 kids* and 40 for the birthday monkey, they put balloons on "Wild Child's" chair, had "THE PLEX" plastic linens/cups/napkins/plates and we had our own cupcakes brought in (cus they use the premade/frozen ones that are freakin N*A*S*T*Y!).
We get there at 2pm - our "party time" we told them on the phone 6-7 kids *since we are such a large family, we don't usually invite others to gatherings like this because honestly it costs to damn much - want a "friend part"? OK - we go to the park!!! We walk in and see our table in the "party area" - which is a long table on the high rise part of the room, NOT in the "PARTY ROOM" - that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY "WILD CHILD" on the door - they say its because "Your party isn't big enough, and we don't have any other parties for today so we put you out in the open instead of opening up the whole room" Whatever - roll my eyes and walk away - We get the kids their tokens, order the pizza's and 2 extra (we always have more adults than kids at these things) We are rocking a long - and I realize we are 1 bag of coins short - the "party coordinator" gets us more coins - apparently she couldn't count to 8? Pizza is very good, I was impressed - but they advertise and told us on the phone the party came with 2 LARGE - we got 2 medium - Thank God we ordered Extra - there was only 1 piece left over. The additional 1 pepperoni and 1 cheese cost an extra $25.00 (I just THOUGHT pizza hut was proud of their pizza!) During the "free time game play" every machine we touched broke - and I am NOT exaggerating - the "ticket counter" broke while we were putting in our tickets and they tried to jip us out of 930 something tickets (I took a picture with my camera to show the manager just in case...smart move on my part!!!!!) "Babe" hit the jackpot on 1 game and won over 2000 tickets - paper jam - tickets held up - call for assistance. I won 100 on the spinning jackpot game - nope, call for assistance. The "1 token gets your free candy claw game" took "Darling Diva's" token and they wouldn't help fix it because they were having "computer issues" - We were hand written a "note" for the 930 something tickets they tried to jip us out of. We decided ok - GO CART - BUMPER BOAT TIME - because we bought the "party package" the rides were cheaper - we did one "game" of bumper boat wars - they spray each other with water - it was cute (once someone showed up to let us in to play!!!) there were ducks in the water too so that made the smaller kids happy! "The Oldest" got in and drove one so that "Leggs" could play too (hes not tall enough or old enough) Then to HELL go carts - $3.50 a ride - we bought 15 rides (5 adults, 3 rides each - cus none of the kids are old enough to ride and they told us they had enough carts for all us to ride doubles together - WRONG - we needed 5, 2 seater, go carts - we get out there and they only had 4 running and 2 singles. SINGLES DON'T HELP US! "Babe" is much more amazing than I am, and can make ANYTHING work - while I'm freakin out and pissed - he's making "the best of things" - so TADA - we ride
Everyone is having a great time - kids are having a blast! I go in to get drinks for everyone - and come back to find my "Darling Diva" bawling, "The Oldest" laughing, "Drama Rama" almost in tears, and cousin chasing me down! She grabs me in the middle doors and tells me that "The Mom From Hell"
My Version of Mom from Hell!!
has come over screaming and irate with "Drama Rama" because she ACCIDENTALLY spit on her daughters leg. She apologized repeatedly in front of many witnesses when she realized what she had done, but that wasn't good enough - "That's assault and I am pressing charges and suing your parents" I have no idea what my husband was doing at this point. ((No one said)) The lady in line behind us told the women to watch her mouth and get back in her place/space because she was being rude and making a scene infront of way to many children and making herself look like a fool. My cousin tried to reason with the women - made "Drama Rama" apologize again and when the "suing your parents" came out it was all over - she laid into her like no other - (pissing her off is BAD BAD JUJU) Sadly, thank godI missed it and just walked into the after fire. I totally understand standing up for your kids and making people "right their wrongs" but this was a little extreme - I hate to tell the lady that if her kids think there aren't "accidents" in life - they are in for a long rough road a head of them! "Drama Rama" is a handful at times, and can be very much my child and run her mouth with the best of them, but she would NEVER spit on anyone just for shits and giggles - punch them, scream, cuss, yell, try to fight them maybe, but not spit (and walk off!!) - Rides were over and done shortly after - we cashed in over 6,000 tickets for prizes for "Wild Thing" and headed home.
We realized during this horrible adventure that we had an appointment at Sam's Club at 5 to pick up our "click and pull" items - I thought they closed at 8 on Sunday - no that's regular hours - they close at 6 on Sunday -- ooops another trip tomorrow! But thank GOD no "Party" tomorrow!
"The Oldest" finally went back to school after missing 5 days (would have been 7 if it hadn't been for labor day!)
"Peacekeeper" and "Wild Thing" got their yellow belts in Karate today! (They are kicking it Crane Style now!)
I got called to "Drama Rama's" school and of course expected the worst!
Hubby informed me that it had been 45 days since we had sex (no wonder we were both hateful, sour, bitchy people!)
My brother (The Oldest and Drama Rama's sperm donor) called my mother to ask if she thought it would be OK for him to file the kids on his taxes at the end of the year!
"The Oldest" missed 1 day due to us having to make a fast dash trip to Oklahoma to get his birth certificate and Indian ID # (CIB #), 1.5 days from heat exhaustion, and the rest from having some nut case stomach virus that he got from his incubator while we were in Oklahoma. Took him to the doctor - and the doctor said it's been going around and that he could be "sickly" for up to 3 weeks (Dr's son was out of school from Aug 28th til Sept 11!!!!!) but we got his physical done for basketball while we were there and we got all the legal stuff taken care of, and it was nice to spend some time with just him (even though we had 12 hours in the car together to bond!
But for all you other Moms out there - you know what comes with absents - MAKE UP WORK! He has a SHIT TON - and most of it is due Monday. Plus his homework on top of that - and turns out he is the most unorganized kid I've ever seen - has binders for every class and LITERALLY NOTHING IN THEM! I sat down in the living room floor going through the "stuffed papers" that were in his backpack and sports bag while him and Babe tried to make way through the make up work and figure out what was make up work and what was homework due tomorrow - we never did come to that conclusion for sure! Come to find out - the kid has NEVER used binders and kept up with his work - so he has no idea how - um WTF he's 16. So a new lesson for him and I told him that had he been with us his whole life, or even half of it - he'd so be grounded!!! But hopefully we can get this all figured out and fixed soon! He's going to have to go to tutoring because well lets face it - Mine and Babes 10 year class reunion is this year - and so much shit has changed we have no idea what we are doing!!! I now understand how my parents felt when they "helped" me with my homework. old, useless, uneducated, stupidGAG!
The best most awesome thing of my day was going and seeing "Peace Keeper and Wild Thing" get their yellow belts today - They practice the Crane art of Shorin-Ryu :) I posted a picture on facebook if your interested in seeing :) It was so freakin awesome. Babe and I got called out to do a demonstration (the Chief of Police is the Master- and he only has 1 arm ) - ex MIL took pictures - hoping she posts/emails them soon so I can upload them on my pages as well - cus it should be interesting - I literally felt like Babe was pulling my hair off my head - we were doing a defense demonstration - - OUCH is all I've got to say about that! I am so very proud of the boys! They worked so hard, practiced on each other - with each other and were very encouraging to each other. I like that they are able to do this together! The odd age gap has kept them from being team mates time and time again so this is awesome to see - I know at some point they are going to have to fight each other in the ring but well - its not here YET. I'm excited about ordering them personalized belt hangers too!! On a shitty note .. Their sperm donor didn't even call to ask how it went or anything - his Mom didn't even tag him in the pictures from tonight - and thats A-OKAY with me! PRICK - He has no freakin idea how much joy and love he is missing out on!!
The school called today - (Drama Rama goes to a different school than the other kids because of personal choices she made, and consequences that were created for those said choices.) I panicked - took "Leggs" to my Mom - and headed out to find out WTF - thank God I was already dressed for the "belt test" -- Thank God it wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it out in my head - (ie - beatings, destruction, fights, broken bones, ran away etc etc) - There was a parent teacher meeting Monday - Open House - and since I wasn't there they were calling me in to find out why - why Drama Rama had changed residences - and to give me her online portal code to check her grades online!!! Well I was pissed about not even being TOLD about Open House - of course all she could say was "Sorry, it wasn't mandatory, so I didn't think it was important" (But the new Cyber Cafe *coffee shop on campus* is opening tomorrow and she thought I'd care about that and the 1.00 coffee/hot coca! - REALLY?!?) But hey at least it wasn't all those things I thought in my head it was! Her grades suck - which I figured - she's the most NONE DRIVEN KID I have ever seen, and I'm not sure wtf to do about it - even 2 different therapists have answered me with ???? "nothing seems to work". We made her join student council and UIL since she dropped guitar lessons and refuses to participate in sports or athletics of any kind - and the schools in our area don't have art class (which is TOTALLY her thing, and she's amazing at it)
45 freakin days? Who the hell even counts that high? He said (and I quote) "Honey, it's a man thing, we just keep up with shit like that", obviously! But you have no idea if you have clean clothes or whats in the fridge to eat without my help LOL. I knew it had been "a while" but not THAT freakin long - so we tried to remember back if we had EVER gone that long without sex - and came to realize NO (not even when he was out of town working or after I had any of the kids!) But, it was also a very big eye opener for the both of us - our life has NEVER been this CRAZY, HECTIC, CHAOTIC - and that maybe we weren't dealing as well with it as we thought. So it put some things - like personal time, and "adult time" into perspective and made us realize how much we really do need each other and that even if we weren't being "rabbits" anymore (mind you we are both 28!) we still connect on way more levels than just sex. And that was pretty rewarding to know! *T/M/I here - we fixed the whole 45 days of celibacy thing!*
I'm still having a horrible time dealing with my "brother" and his choices and which I think are totally stupid and unethical! I have a sense of entitlement because I *AM* raising his two oldest children - his daughter I've raised off and on her entire life so this shouldn't be "new" to me anymore - but well it's always a new day around here! I don't think he has the right to claim them on his taxes - 1 "The Oldest" has lived longer with me than he did with his "Father" and so that is TOTALLY out - he doesn't even have access to his social security card or birth certificate because he has no legal documentation that he is even RELATED to him - I on the other hand have a full, irrevocable "Power Of Attorney" until he turns 18. And I like how he didn't have the balls to call ME and ask ME what I thought - he called our Mom! Chicken Shit! He knew I would blow a head gasket - and well, I am! Since July, he has given them $100 spending money to slit - and $100 each for school clothes and school supplies. (Totaling $300.00) Umm, hello jack ass - show me how you can buy 2 teenagers school supplies and school clothes for $100 each?!? I spent that on their school supplies alone!!! ***Breathe women - Breathe *** I should probably seek therapy!
So, I am - so what? I'm proud of who I am! I've been called a freak most of my life, for one reason or another. I have psoriasis and that's usually the first thing people notice about me ,the next thing they notice is the shit ton of tattoo's that I have, and then they notice my children :) So sometimes my psoriasis covers 80% of my body and there isn't really a damn thing I can do about it. I won't "flake" on you - it's not going to jump off me and consume your precious baby, I'm a stressful anxious person - mine just shows on my skin while you hide you shit stuffed down deep inside - good for you, I don't have that option!
Yes, I decorated my body with pretty designs, colors, and random things. Yes, at one time they all meant something, and most of them still do. Some are matching friend tattoo's, my kids names, yes I have my ex husbands name on my chest, yes I've been remarried for quite a few years, and no I'm probably not going to cover it up because he is still the father to 2 of my children and it would upset them if I covered it, and yes "Babe's" name is tattooed on me twice - no I don't care if you think that is odd and his couldn't be covered up if I wanted. Sorry I can't always remember what Kanji means what - I didn't get them yesterday - matter of fact it was many years ago - I know what they mean, just not always in what order. Yes they hurt, yes I am proud of them and NO, I wont hide them - not even for your wedding or funeral. Could I cover them all - sure, if I wore long sleeves, pants and left my hair down - will I, no!
Yes, these kids are mine - wait no, I stole them from the "children's section" in Wal-mart - they are having a buy one get one free sale on isle 213! Where the hell else do you think I got them? - I hate that damn question - "Wow, you have this many kids" "Oh my, are all these kids yours?" - The looks my kids give people who ask this are priceless - no bitch I stole 'em - want them? I'll sale them to you cheap, but you have to bring 'em back tomorrow, okay? You think you could handle 6 better than I can? Awesome - start popping them out! Lemme know how that works out for you okay? Yes, I had them young! Yes, I know what causes "that" - "that" is my child and if you refer to him/her as "that" again - I'm liable to eat your face off! You also know what that means - that means I like sex, and am apparently good at it - so BITE ME!
So maybe in a perfect world I wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb, but until then, I'll keep my freak show and make it look as classy - or sassy - as I want it to be. This is MY freak show - and if you don't want to be a part of it - well - go away :) It's not that hard!
Ever just wonder - "Damn, am I the only one that hates this?" or "I've got to be crazy to enjoy this?" Well, here is my "work in progress" - where I will make a list of the things I like - and don't like!
Like: in no particular order!
Fresh flowers
The smell of fresh cut grass
the smell before the rain comes
sunset
fresh smell of clean laundry
dogs
coffee at random times of the day - prefer it cold
Fall
birds
driving around with no place to go
the way my dogs get so freakin excited when I walk through the door!
bright neon colors
coloring
reading books
cooking and having people enjoy eating it
peeing alone
taking a shower without anyone coming in to "check on me"
not having to trip over toys and clothes to get where I am going
hugs
the way clean carpet feels on my feet
not wearing shoes
the fact that my husband thinks I'm sexy even if I haven't brushed my hair in days and it's piled up on my head in a matted bun mess
the laughing of my children
Dis-like: in no particular order!
crickets and grasshoppers
dirty dishes
clutter
rap music
screaming children
whining (in adults and children! - though adults its way more annoying)
taking a "poo" and realizing there is no damn toilet paper on the rack
how my rottweiler can fart and clear out our entire house
dirty toilets
awkward small talk
my children fighting
lazy people
whining
begging
"those friends" - you know, the ones that only call when they need shit!
Every time I hear the question (or even read it) "Who are you?" the the song "Who Are You" by The Who pops into my head and then the cat in Alice and Wonderland asking Alice "Whhhoooo Aaaaarrrrreeee yooooou?
If you don't follow me on facebook, you're coming into this totally empty! What if you don't like me? Or think my sense of humor is totally inappropriate, that I have no idea what I am doing or "what gives me the right to talk about this"? I'd be lost too!
So, who are we? (I'm not going to get all this right in 1 sitting, its 4am, cut me some slack here people :) but I'll do my best!)
ME - I'm the writer that's who I am :) I'm the SAHM of 6 kids that range from 16 to 4 and have shown me that life/situations/actions/reactions are always, ALWAYS, different and that each child/human being is different and has to be handled different both physically and emotionally.
I started getting my masters in Psychology, but dropped out because I couldn't handle kids/work/school/life all at one time! Will I go back? Who knows, but the honest answer is probably not! I'll use my kids as an excuse now, my husbands job later, and my grandchildren after that! So don't hold your breath waiting on that blog!
I didn't want a large family, don't come from a large family, hell I actually I didn't think I wanted a family at all!! Boy was I WRONG!
I have psoriasis, social anxiety, and bits and bouts of depression that sometimes I think are never going to pass!
I got married shortly after I turned 18, that didn't work - 'cus most young marriages don't - YAY STATISTICS (bastards) then remarried a few months after my divorce was final.
(I know, I know, I'm quick at this stuff, huh?)
But I have an amazing husband(most of the time!)
My Husband - aka "Babe" - he's my right hand, my rock, my asshole, my friend, sometimes my enemy, but most of all he's my partner - in everything I do! WE make this "HOUSE OF CHAOS" work. WE, not he, not I, WE. He works his ass off - 1 full time - M-F job - and 1 part time job - he builds airplanes - crop dusters and those emergency fire water dumping planes (I can't ever remember what the hell they are called!) He comes from a large family, was raised with heavy religion, and his family is very distant and doesn't come around/interact much.
*now the fun part -- KIDS*
"The Oldest" - is my brothers 16 year old son who just came into our life 1/2012 and moved in with "Babe" and I in July,2012. We are still getting to know him, but he loves athletics, basketball is his favorite. His past life has been crazy, broken and unstable and we are working on showing him what life is SUPPOSE to be like. He has amazing street smarts (which scares the shit out of me!) but has had to be a survivor his whole life and so he's tough and strong and going to go places in life!! "Drama Rama" - is my brothers 15 year old daughter who has lived with me off and on her entire life - mostly as a baby then again as a teenager (her step Mom got the easy years, damn it!) and moved in this time (permanently) July, 2012. She is the main drama factor around this house. Everything has to be about her or about nothing at all. She is always getting into sticky situations and never knows how to get out or rise above them. She is def. her own worst enemy. She's learning - she hasn't had a simple life either - but we are trying our best to help her be the best she can be, at whatever she wants to be! "Peace Keeper" - my 9 year old son from my 1st marriage. He is calm, cool and collective. Might have a slight touch of OCD, loves school, academics, and will do just about anything to keep the chaos to a minimum. And its scary how independent he is! And how flexible he is! "Wild Thing" - my 7 year old from my 1st marriage. He is wild and crazy. Off the walls, has amazingly crazy ideas and can't keep focused for more than a few minutes. He loves school, but just enough to get by and because his friends are there. He is mothers child. Solid boy through and through. Always in trouble always starting fights - but is the first to cry, apologize and need to be held, loved and cuddle with you! He is one of the most caring, sweet children I have ever seen. Loves animals, the outdoors, and a true spirited child. And he TOTALLY HATES CHANGE! "Darling Diva" - my 6 years old princess - She is - WOW, I'm not even sure how to describe her. She is so independent but so needy at the same time. She is always up my butt, wants to do everything I do. Likes to clean, and showers sometimes multiple times a day for no reason, loves to help me in anyway that she can but in the flick of a switch she is an evil spawn. She screams, yells and throws fits like I've never seen in my life. "Leggs" - my 4 year old bilateral clubbed foot baby boy. He is SOLID BOY and an exact mixture of his 2 half brothers. He can be as calm or as wild as the situation needs him to be! He has the most amazing loving personality I have ever seen in a child. He is a sponge and loves to absorb every bit of knowledge he can, anyway that he can. He might be the youngest and the smallest, but he can stand his own with the other kids. He's for sure the toughest of all 6.
*Ok, I'm done for now - I'll write more later! I'm fixing to face plant the keyboard* 9/05/2012 4:35am
I'm jumping into all this pretty blind. I write well, I'm good at it - at least I was in school and college. Back when "myspace" was cool I blogged all the time, and everyone always ranted and raved about them - I wrote about what life had thrown at me, how the kids were doing, how I wanted everyone to think life was going. Myspace fell apart and turned to TRASH, and Facebook became a hit - I hate it, now I love it. I live away have out grown most from of my "friends" and have a really close family that is always around getting into twisting and turning in each others business - and everyone else's in town too. (That happens a lot when you live in a town of less than 500!! A LOT LESS) So I felt like I had no out - I wrote a lot - well people find diaries and journals and then do what? Get mad! So I opened up a Facebook page last month that has virtually NO ONE I am related to have even ever laid REAL eyes on, and decided - damn it - I need to blog...to write...so here I am!
I have followed/liked a ton (and I mean a TON) of "MOM" places on Facebook - and have started feeling whole again - not so damn alone. It is freeing. I can be me - JUST ME - and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks or says or does - cus I can block you, delete your comments or just blow you off! I recently bought a plaque at a local pharmacy that says "www.MommyNeedsHerSpaceBeforeSheTotallyLosesIt.com" NOW I HAVE IT!! I have my place! To talk about life, love, kids, home, work, school, other parents, opinions, facts, jokes, husband, dogs, food, crafts, WTF ever I want :) And I like it! I hope you enjoy all these Crazy Ramblings Of A Not So Ordinary Mom. I'll work on doing an "about me" page at some point - a real personal type one - but for now -- this is what you get :)
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