Who we are - 2015.

OMG, we've made it 3 years now.   Blogging has kind of taken a back burner, but I am working on getting things back to a level playing field.  

New things that AREN'T on the ORIGINAL "Who we are" blog

Kids have got older & changed:

• The Oldest is now 19, and is back home.  He went back to Oklahoma for a while, made another stab at building a relationship with my brother - his bio dad, he never did finish school, and got into some legal trouble (but he didn't call home to get bailed out!), but now he's back home, and I'm glad, I really need him - and I'm getting him on the path of "growing" He is a super help with the younger kids, helping around the house, getting things built around here since Babe is working so much!

• Drama Rama is now 17, she has only been gone since June - and she's back.  She's made a stab at staying with all kinds of random people and her father, and bio mother - none which worked out.  She got very sick last week - she had cellulitis (bacterial skin infection) there is a link below.  She has psoriasis - there are 7 different major types, and she now has all 7.  You can google that on your own!  So she is back home recovering after being in the hospital on heavy steroids and antibiotics for 4 days. She didn't finish school either, so as soon as she is capable of moving around freely, I will get her started on a forward direction of education! http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001858/#adam_000855.disease.cause

• PeaceKeeper is now 11, turning 12 in March, in the 6th grade and started middle school this year, he is taking band, and got 1st chair, his first year, we are all pretty proud.  His grandmother played brass in school and so she has been able to teach him quite well, and done an amazing job, and he loves it!  He is almost as tall as I am, and is such a fun kid.  He's a comedian at heart and I love it!  School is more of a challenge for him this year - 1st year in Jr High, 1st full year at this new school district and its more advanced than their old school, I had no idea 2 schools 12 miles apart would be so different!!! He got a cellphone this year, he has started going to friends houses and doing independent things, and so my Mom decided since she never uses her cellphone and we are paying for it - might as well give it to the kid for doing so well in school and making 1st chair.  He was super stoked.  Its not a smartphone - its a blackberry q10, its touch screen, BUT it doesn't have all the access to the crazy apps, most of blackberry apps cost money and it has parental controls on it so he can't buy anything - and he wouldn't anyway cus thats not currently his nature!
  

• Wild Thing is now 10!  He is doing so much better in school, has claimed down soooooooo very much!  I would believe its the same kid!  He's sweet, loving,  and full of cuddles whenever you want them - he is always running around moving - but stops by everyone for a hug and a kiss at least twice a day, and thats a school day.  He's very tender hearted!  School isn't such a battle for him anymore because he's calmed down so much and learned to pay attention.  I can't reiterate just how sweet he is!  Now give him a chance, and he will get fired up and my house can look like a tornado went blowing through.  He is playing basketball this year, he is doing great.  His team has only lost 1 game so far.   He is loving that we moved to closer schools because he gets to do more activities than before.

• Darling Diva will be 9 in April.  She has a very strong connection with God and church.  Example, I've been sick and thank God we live where we do, and she went next door Sunday morning and told them we were all sick, could she ride to church with the neighbors, and they gladly took her - they text me and said that she was the first to voice up when ask if there was anyone who needed prayer requests.  She's now the reason that I try to on a nightly basis working a bible study - its a bible study/mix of us getting to know about each others day.  Its cut down some since basketball season started.   She's playing basketball also, she's doing great.  She loves it and is very athletic - her and Wild Thing will at least be the 2 that keep me on my toes learning about all the sports I never cared to play!  School is a breeze for her, but she's having to learn to study, because again, school here is harder than where they were!
  

• Leggs just turned SEVEN - 7, yes my baby is SEVEN.  His birthday is in December so this year he was in 1st grade.  We had some major issues with his teacher so we pulled him out of school, he started Kinder at this new school end of the year last year, and he was already struggling and behind, because of his surgeries, and then had another one this year and it just seems like a never ending cycle for him sometimes - get caught up. . . fall behind.  So we pulled him out and are homeschooling him.  .  . . we are on week 3 and so far its going great, I am getting way more accomplished than I thought, even with me being sick and not getting to work with him as many hours as I had planned.  He knows its going to be a fight to get to 2nd grade next year, so we are probably going to end up working though end of June, but I am in hopes that it wont have to be that way for him.  He wanted to play basketball BUT because he had to have surgery, he missed sign ups :( 
  

In other news:

            My parents are living with us, my Mom has dementia, and needs assistance/isn't comfortable living alone.  We got screwed by a contractor on turning Babe's man save into a bedroom and laundry room and finishing the downstairs bathroom. . . The Oldest has been working on it but its a slow process because we are out so much money.  It sucked...BAD!  So we are kinda packed in like sardines.  Mom and Dad have a room, our live in has the tiny room, The Oldest is on the hide a bed couch, Drama Rama is sharing  room with Mom and Dad, Babe and I have a room - and the 4 littles are sharing a room stacked on bunkbeds with multiple TVs in one room so they can multi-task.  They are all being really awesome about it and know its not forever, but know that we have no end date in mind.

Babe is working a full time job, a part time night job, and even a Saturday job when they need him.  he's trying to cover all basis.  God love him, and I pray that he doesn't fall out, I worry about him A LOT!

The one that has no name

     Sometimes I wonder, where did I go?  What happened to me?  I use to be so incontrol of everything, felt like I always had my shit together.  I was confident, secure, safe, stable, reliable, reasonable, manageable, intelligent, and so many more things!!  I feel like I have lost them all.

Confidence - ha, thats a joke - I'm a Mom.  I 2nd guess everything I do, say, how I act, what I think - because I worry about how it will affect my kids now -- and later.  People judge and say things and so again, the 2nd guessing starts and I wonder what I'm doing and if I'm even doing it right.

In-control - of my bladder (most of the time that is!) thats about freakin it!  My house is a wild play ground that I feel is falling down around me.  I'm not even in control of WHEN I can use the bathroom, when I can do household chores - it's all on someone else's watch.

secure/stable - I didn't worry about the petty crap - it wasnt important.  So what if I totally drained the bank account?  There would be more money on payday right?  Not anymore.  6 kids - bank is usually empty and when that happens a crisis usually hits and I freak out!

reasonable - I'm way past reasonable.  I hate having to listen to other people and making my kids and me avaliable for whatever whenever because thats what "good moms do" - I get tired of hearing that statement!!  Who the hell dictated you "master of the moms"?

manageable - manage what?  This place is a zoo!  about the time I think I have shit under control something happens and all hell breaks lose!  I'm left standing there scratching my head trying to catch on to what latest and craziest thing has kicked off in my living room.

Weekly Random Ramblings #1

Holy sheep shit batman what a day!  

1. "The Oldest" finally went back to school after missing 5 days (would have been 7 if it hadn't been for labor day!) 
2. "Peacekeeper" and "Wild Thing" got their yellow belts in Karate today! (They are kicking it Crane Style now!) 
3. I got called to "Drama Rama's" school and of course expected the worst!
4. Hubby informed me that it had been 45 days since we had sex (no wonder we were both hateful, sour, bitchy people!)
5. My brother (The Oldest and Drama Rama's sperm donor) called my mother to ask if she thought it would be OK for him to file the kids on his taxes at the end of the year!

   
   

   
   

     "The Oldest" missed 1 day due to us having to make a fast dash trip to Oklahoma to get his birth certificate and Indian ID # (CIB #), 1.5 days from heat exhaustion, and the rest from having some nut case stomach virus that he got from his incubator while we were in Oklahoma.  Took him to the doctor - and the doctor said it's been going around and that he could be "sickly" for up to 3 weeks (Dr's son was out of school from Aug 28th til Sept 11!!!!!) but we got his physical done for basketball while we were there and we got all the legal stuff taken care of, and it was nice to spend some time with just him (even though we had 12 hours in the car together to bond!
      But for all you other Moms out there - you know what comes with absents - MAKE UP WORK!  He has a SHIT TON - and most of it is due Monday.  Plus his homework on top of that - and turns out he is the most unorganized kid I've ever seen - has binders for every class and LITERALLY NOTHING IN THEM!  I sat down in the living room floor going through the "stuffed papers" that were in his backpack and sports bag while him and Babe tried to make way through the make up work and figure out what was make up work and what was homework due tomorrow - we never did come to that conclusion for sure!  Come to find out - the kid has NEVER used binders and kept up with his work - so he has no idea how - um WTF he's 16.  So a new lesson for him and I told him that had he been with us his whole life, or even half of it - he'd so be grounded!!!  But hopefully we can get this all figured out and fixed soon!  He's going to have to go to tutoring because well lets face it - Mine and Babes 10 year class reunion is this year - and so much shit has changed we have no idea what we are doing!!!  I now understand how my parents felt when they "helped" me with my homework. old, useless, uneducated, stupid  GAG!

      The best most awesome thing of my day was going and seeing "Peace Keeper and Wild Thing" get their yellow belts today - They practice the Crane art of Shorin-Ryu :)  I posted a picture on facebook if your interested in seeing :)  It was so freakin awesome.  Babe and I got called out to do a demonstration (the Chief of Police is the Master- and he only has 1 arm ) - ex MIL took pictures - hoping she posts/emails them soon so I can upload them on my pages as well - cus it should be interesting - I literally felt like Babe was pulling my hair off my head - we were doing a defense demonstration - - OUCH is all I've got to say about that!  I am so very proud of the boys!  They worked so hard, practiced on each other - with each other and were very encouraging to each other.  I like that they are able to do this together!  The odd age gap has kept them from being team mates time and time again so this is awesome to see - I know at some point they are going to have to fight each other in the ring but well - its not here YET.  I'm excited about ordering them personalized belt hangers too!!
     On a shitty note ..  Their sperm donor didn't even call to ask how it went or anything - his Mom didn't even tag him in the pictures from tonight - and thats A-OKAY with me!  PRICK - He has no freakin idea how much joy and love he is missing out on!!

      The school called today - (Drama Rama goes to a different school than the other kids because of personal choices she made, and consequences that were created for those said choices.)  I panicked - took "Leggs" to my Mom - and headed out to find out WTF - thank God I was already dressed for the "belt test" -- Thank God it wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it out in my head - (ie - beatings, destruction, fights, broken bones, ran away etc etc) - There was a parent teacher meeting Monday - Open House - and since I wasn't there they were calling me in to find out why - why Drama Rama had changed residences - and to give me her online portal code to check her grades online!!!  Well I was pissed about not even being TOLD about Open House - of course all she could say was "Sorry, it wasn't mandatory, so I didn't think it was important"  (But the new Cyber Cafe *coffee shop on campus* is opening tomorrow and she thought I'd care about that and the 1.00 coffee/hot coca! - REALLY?!?)  But hey at least it wasn't all those things I thought in my head it was!  Her grades suck - which I figured - she's the most NONE DRIVEN KID I have ever seen, and I'm not sure wtf to do about it - even 2 different therapists have answered me with ???? "nothing seems to work".  We made her join student council and UIL since she dropped guitar lessons and refuses to participate in sports or athletics of any kind - and the schools in our area don't have art class (which is TOTALLY her thing, and she's amazing at it)

      45 freakin days?  Who the hell even counts that high?  He said (and I quote) "Honey, it's a man thing, we just keep up with shit like that", obviously! But you have no idea if you have clean clothes or whats in the fridge to eat without my help LOL.  I knew it had been "a while" but not THAT freakin long - so we tried to remember back if we had EVER gone that long without sex - and came to realize NO (not even when he was out of town working or after I had any of the kids!)  But, it was also a very big eye opener for the both of us - our life has NEVER been this CRAZY, HECTIC, CHAOTIC - and that maybe we weren't dealing as well with it as we thought. So it put some things - like personal time, and "adult time" into perspective and made us realize how much we really do need each other and that even if we weren't being "rabbits" anymore (mind you we are both 28!) we still connect on way more levels than just sex.  And that was pretty rewarding to know!  *T/M/I here - we fixed the whole 45 days of celibacy thing!*

     I'm still having a horrible time dealing with my "brother" and his choices and which I think are totally stupid and unethical!  I have a sense of entitlement because I *AM* raising his two oldest children - his daughter I've raised off and on her entire life so this shouldn't be "new" to me anymore - but well it's always a new day around here!  I don't think he has the right to claim them on his taxes - 1 "The Oldest" has lived longer with me than he did with his "Father" and so that is TOTALLY out - he doesn't even have access to his social security card or birth certificate because he has no legal documentation that he is even RELATED to him - I on the other hand have a full, irrevocable "Power Of Attorney" until he turns 18.  And I like how he didn't have the balls to call ME and ask ME what I thought - he called our Mom!  Chicken Shit!  He knew I would blow a head gasket - and well, I am!  Since July, he has given them $100 spending money to slit - and $100 each for school clothes and school supplies.  (Totaling $300.00)  Umm, hello jack ass - show me how you can buy 2 teenagers school supplies and school clothes for $100 each?!? I spent that on their school supplies alone!!!   ***Breathe women - Breathe ***    I should probably seek therapy!